Looking Down the Rabbit Hole

On my journey through healing and moving on, I came across the piece below.  It really does hit the nail on the head.  I recall many occasions hearing how he would drop everything and help someone out, even if it cost him time and money. This was the point where I attempted a discussion on boundaries (bad idea, don't try this maneuver, don't teach a narc adult basic human decency, it won't turn out well). He would get angry when, because he did so and so a favor the exact time they needed it, they wouldn't drop everything they were doing right now and help him. Plan ahead????  Pfft ... for shame the thought should cross your mind!!!! I saw many people landing on his shit list because ... gasp .... they have boundaries.  Much like myself. Credit for this wonderful piece of work goes to Updated on December 19, 2017 The Little Shaman    more The Little Shaman is a spiritual counselor, hypnotherapy practitioner, and a specialist in Cluster B personality disord

When you exchange vows with a future partner it should be a genuine act of devotion between two equal partners.  Each others' best interests should be at the heart of it. The desire to grow & change with each other, share lives, ideas, dreams, plans, goals should be mutual for as long as you both shall live. This is possible, it happens, but never with a narcissist. You fell in love with the charm, the charisma, the fun spirit who just seemed to flow, low key, patient, in tune and perfect. Convinced this was the best thing, an answer to those prayers, a partner at last. Sadly, the mask slips. You chalk it up to a one-off. The marriage ceremony took place, promises were made and this time, when the mask slips, it just keeps sliding, revealing all, a little at a time. Until one day, you stand back in stupefication. What just happened? These highly dysfunctional devils rarely ever say what they mean, or mean what they say. Wedding vows are certainly no exception. When you ma

“Let go or be dragged.”  Sums up the connection to a narcissist. Also, any other personality-disordered soul. If you don't disconnect, they certainly won't. They'll stick around on the outskirts of your life for as long as they think you might talk to them again or leave the door cracked open. The door has to be completely shut. Glued, nailed, taped ... shut tight never to open again. It’s easy to totally blame the narcissist, but the truth is we’re choosing to engage once we see the mask fall and the fakery arise. We are making a conscious choice to take on an impossible relationship with an impossible person who cannot think logically. They're thinking is disordered, chaotic, based on feeling alone, not fact. As adults we always have the choice to let go. Walk away.  We didn't break this, we can't fix it.  If this person hasn't taken control of their own life and chaos by now, why do you possibly think they will just for you?  Nothing personal, we&